i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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