she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize