Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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