she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
should my penis look like a turkey
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
