Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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