We tried having a conversation with our noses.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
