Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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