yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
