Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
