Already got asked if we're dating
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
