this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
