Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
