Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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