Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
This house was built for laser tag.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
