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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.

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• (607): View more from New York

  He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Keep him.

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