What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my shit smells like andre
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'