dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw