There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.