You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.