Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize