Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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