...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
