My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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