omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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