I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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