You work out of a Hotel?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize