i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
