Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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