i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
