I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
