I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
