Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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