So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i dont even know how to be here
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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