When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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