I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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