it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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