It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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