we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
