I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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