that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
