You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
