so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
