Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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