Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
