I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
