wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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