It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
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Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
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Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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