Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
