I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
