dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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