omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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