At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
