"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
