I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You pole danced in your parka.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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