are you still at the devil's house?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He had one of those small greek statue penises
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
