You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize