I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just pynch a tree in the face
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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