how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
