I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
