you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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